Lonely is a book written by Emily White that leads to a possible recognition of chronic loneliness as an altogether different condition. Inspired mostly by the authors own experience of loneliness, this book is in part a biography, a research paper, and a case study. I'll remember this as one my best reading experiences ever.
In this remarkable book Emily tells us that she must have born with a tendency for chronic loneliness, which was later triggered by some circumstantial factors. You can get an idea about what she went through mist if her life by reading this quote from the page before the contents page. It's like a kind of prologue, but not exactly.
".... pleas close your eyes.
You live in an apartment. You are there alone. So far as your feelings go, you are entirely alone. You have no one to call, no one to talk to. There is no one sharing your life, no one at all. This is the way it is, this is the way it is going to be. If you were to go out, you would still be alone.
Pleas take note in your mind of how you feel.
Now open your eyes and write down what your feelings are.
Loneliness induction excersise
Professor Robert Weiss
Any way she doesn't just give up. She tries to understand her condition, reading a lot, talking to people with similar conditions, seeking professional help. The books contains lots of very interesting information of her experience along the process. Actually it has been no easy task, and the determination and the courage she has shown is truly admirable. Here are some other quotes that would give you a feel of the book. I really believe this is a book that no one should miss.
"I've had periods of loneliness my whole life. Since research shows a genetic basis for loneliness,with some people being born with an ingrained tenancy toward the state, I now see these periods as natural, almost inevitable. Or, rather, I see them as inevitable from the perspective of the adult I've become. ..."
." .........When someone's lonely, says Chris Segrin, a behavioral scientist at the university of Arizona, " and they come in to see a psychiatrist or a psychologist, they tend to be diagnosed as depressed or socially anxious more often than not. In other words, there are comorbid conditions that seem to have diagnostic priority..............I think sometimes depression is secondary to loneliness, but when some one comes in, the psychiatrist says,'Oh your problem is you're depressed' "..........."
"......The problem with loneliness is that, compared to other motivators, it's not one that's readily satisfied. If you are hungry, it's hopefully easy to find food. ..................But when you are lonely, other people-almost by definition-are not available. This means you can be left alone with a keyed-up energy that you can't turn off. ........"
"There's more than a hint of fate to my relationship with loneliness today. Even after years of researching the state, I still see it as something that will take me if it wishes......."
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